It's so hard... My cheerleading friends and I attempted cartwheels during the second cheer practice (today), and I, as usual failed like a sore loser. Mimi, Carinna, Paula, Fay, Mae and the rest were sweet enough to help encourage me in my numerous failed attempts. 

"Believe, Belle. You can do it."

But I was so damn scared, thus resulting in a 90 degree half-cartwheel with an ugly landing on the butt. It was hilarious, no doubt, and I laughed along. Like come on, it's funny. But then the teacher in charge (i shall not enclose a name) was laughing so sarcastically and I felt so, very insecure. I mean, I know I should've just tried and not hesitate in doing the next 90 degree and landing. I really don't know why didn't I finish it. Maybe it's insecurity. Yeah. Then I attempted the whole 180 degrees but failed miserably, and who should pass by but another teacher. I knew she meant it in a joking way, but I kinda relished doing the next set of cartwheels due to the noted largeness of my butt. Yes, yes. I have a noticeable butt (in a bad way, to me). I was doomed for bridges, forever. I really need to overcome this self-doubting demon. I want to be able to do the damn cartwheel, as nicely as the rest. It really is so tempting to just get up and go, but the adrenaline went as fast as it came. Mannn. And I, am gonna lose weight and shrink this butt. Seriously, no joke. Okay maybe just a little. Maybe not. Question mark...? DANG. 

So, so insecure.

Yeah, maybe I just need to believe in myself. It is essential. And show the world I can do a cartwheel. Okay guys. This, is gangstuh. Imma screw my butt small and do. The. Damn. Cartwheel.

♡ Trees hear, winds speak
♡ So I let my walls come down
♡ My heart beating in your chest
♡ The midnight mare
♡ Handmade floweries
♡ Moon on Fire
♡ My excitement dwells.
♡ Comet stars, don't lose direction.
♡ Ponder
♡ Dance to the music.