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soliloquy; ephemeral landings
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Posted on Wednesday, 28 January 2015 @ Wednesday, January 28, 2015
On nights where the moon shines brighter than it should, I miss you with every fibre in my being. I ache in places I never knew existed, places only you could touch with your flaming heart. You drift in and out of my mind like passing sailing boats in the night, present but not entirely visible. Often I find myself thinking if you have a cut from a recent game, or whether you have been punching walls out of frustration and disappointment. I want to hold you so badly, kiss your wounds and tell you I will always be here to stay. I want to feel your tears on my skin again, the warm breaking of your heart so I can fix it with the pieces from my own. I want to hear your voice break when you tell me about how bad the morning was or how someone belittled you for your talents that didn’t match up to the other’s. I want to hold you and let the silence speak the words I cannot say. I want to place my head on your chest above your beating heart and match it with mine, call that short moment our immortal paradise.
On nights where the moon shines brighter than it should, I search the closets of my mind to the days you looked me in the eyes before planting a kiss on my forehead. I can count it with the fingers on my hand, almost always, never quite reaching ten. Not in a literal sense, though. Just in the killing realisation that moments like those were never quite lived up to the amount we wanted. Forever was too much to ask for, was it? But was it not what we deserved; a life together without complications and stifled desires?
It drives me out of my mind to let myself believe that the memories only haunt me more than they bother you. I am selfish, yes. I want you all to myself, every inch of the wonderful being you are. I want the burning kisses, the stinging feeling of overwhelming passion each time you hold me in your arms. I want it to sear my skin and run through my veins. I want to feel my heart racing the same pace it thumped once upon a past. I want the pulsing feeling throughout my body, the thundering rush of blood to the back of my head. You’re a bullet through my heart, lethal, but beautiful.
I want to die in your arms. I want the last thing I see before I sleep forever to be your eyes. You are the mark of my beginning, and I want you to be my end. Even if our stars were never meant to cross together, if my star were to lose its light first, I want you to be there. If yours were to extinguish as quickly as it lit up, I will give you everything I have to keep it shining. You’re the reason the night clouds are less dull than it should be.
I miss you, my darling love. I missed you then, I miss you now. There are things impossible to continue doing after a certain period of time. I am certain this will never be one of it. I like how it hurts, because only then that I know what we had was real. What we had, is real. I close my eyes every now and then wishing and hoping that in that tiny, split second of time I can feel your finger tracing my lips just one last time. They say wants and needs are things of different elements. You are both.
I cannot imagine the life I lived before I met you. If once it was good, now it is better. You will always be, forever, the best gift I never asked for. You’re my serendipity, my euphoria. The raindrops are a symphony to our love, the flowers a tribute.
I’ll see you soon, my once in a blue moon.
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Kaleidoscope of Craziness
I write to change, to express, to share. All pictures are mine, unless stated. Enjoy roaming around ;) Some people are destined to sing. To act. To host a talk show. To become a songwriter for recording artistes. To take phenomenal pictures from around the world. To teach. To heal and to nurse. To be in an orchestra or to play an instrument by the streets to entertain the weary passerbys. Everyone is destined to be an individual who'll change the lives of others someday in their own unique way to touch hearts and heal broken ones. Everyone has a destiny, a road to walk and a path to remember when you're old and sitting by the fireplace, reminiscing the old times. I believe mine, is to write. FOLLOW INSTAGRAM TWITTER Tweets
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